How I Overcame Driving Anxiety and 7 Steps to Help Conquer It

Obtaining my license at 16 was a defining moment in my life. I'd cruise around town solo, with pure joy evident on my face. Throughout high school and college, I was the designated driver, ferrying friends on adventurous day trips. In high school I would drive my friends around Los Angeles. During my time at university, I would take day trips to San Fransisco from Sonoma with my roommates. The many journeys from university to home across the state were seamless. One particularly cherished memory is a drive to Santa Barbara, where my best friend and I had the windows down, blaring music. For me, driving symbolized freedom.

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However, post-college, I developed driving anxiety. Reflecting upon it, a couple of incidents might have triggered it. Once, a couple of days post-graduation, as I drove to LA, my Volkswagen nearly broke down on the Grapevine. The car stalled and restarted intermittently, but I reached home safely. A few months on, the engine gave out and exploded on Pacific Coast Highway when I was driving to the grief support group I led. Given the expensive repairs, I considered replacing it. That nerve-wracking experience on the Grapevine and the engine later exploding etched an indelible mark, making me fear the unexpected.

Another underlying cause was the personal turmoil I underwent after graduation. While most consider it the dawn of adult life, I grappled with the uncertainty of the next phase. My immediate family too was navigating turbulent waters. My anxiety levels surged, leading me to seek therapy in adulthood. The challenges I overcame during childhood resurfaced, making me understand that the stress from family matters and difficulty navigating how to start my career spilled over into my driving.

The pandemic further exacerbated my driving anxiety. Isolation heightened my fear, and even short drives led to panic attacks. Despite talk therapy sessions, progress was slow. However, my therapist introduced me to exposure therapy, emphasizing that consistent driving could gradually alleviate my anxiety.

Seeking a solution to steady my nerves, I turned to Neurofeedback treatment. Post-treatment, while I still felt anxious, the panic attacks reduced. This improvement spurred me to drive more, especially when life regained some normalcy in late 2021.

Yet, night drives on the freeway remained a challenge. A breakthrough came during my Brainspotting training. While I didn't focus on driving anxiety, processing deep-seated emotions surrounding attachment wounds indirectly alleviated it. I surmise that confronting these emotional wounds from various life stages bolstered my overall confidence, which, in turn, reflected in my driving.

It took me 6 years to overcome a large part of my driving anxiety. There are still moments when I feel tense but it has dramatically been reduced from how it was before and it feels manageable. Today, as I reflect on this journey, I'm reminded of the importance of addressing our deepest fears and the ripple effect it can have on various facets of our lives.

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Driving anxiety is not uncommon, and in moderate amounts, anxiety can serve as a protective mechanism. It reminds us of the inherent risks of driving and nudges us to be cautious. Some individuals, due to unfortunate experiences like car accidents, develop an acute fear of driving. Such traumatic events can make the nervous system sound alarm bells, discouraging them from getting behind the wheel. For others, certain scenarios like driving through tunnels or over bridges can be daunting, primarily due to the fear of entrapment or the lack of an immediate escape route. I, for instance, grappled with the latter.

Nevertheless, many who experience driving anxiety tend to avoid driving entirely. Through a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy and somatic therapy, I believe it's possible to alleviate driving anxiety. Below are some strategies that can assist in conquering this fear:

1.) Start Out on a Familiar Path

If, like me, you're particularly apprehensive about driving at night, start by practicing during daylight on familiar roads. Then start driving on this road at night and practicing. This initiates exposure therapy, helping you face the fear head-on but in a controlled environment.

2.) Look Ahead

Drawing from my surfing experiences, there's a valuable lesson that's applicable to driving: "Where you look, your board follows" In surfing, your body instinctively steers the board in the direction you're gazing at. The principle holds true for driving. Focus straight ahead, and your vehicle will naturally follow your line of sight.

3.) Routine Car Maintenance

Ensuring your car is in top shape can alleviate some anxiety. Regular check-ups and maintenance mean your vehicle is less likely to break down, giving you peace of mind while driving.

4.) Incorporate Relaxation Techniques

During my toughest driving days, breathing exercises were my anchor. Products like HeartMath offer sensors you can attach to your ear, guiding you to breathe in specific patterns, and aiding relaxation. Before and after drives, I'd also employ the Emotional Freedom Technique, a kind of tapping therapy. There's an array of meditations and breathing exercises available that can help regulate your heart rate and maintain calmness.

5.) Diving Deep into the Origin of Your Anxiety

Self-reflection can be instrumental in managing driving anxiety. Consider the questions: "Why is this fear so pronounced in my life?" and "When did it start?" Reflecting on external stressors or identifying other domains of life where you face anxiety can guide you to the root of the issue. Unraveling the beginning can pave the way for better management techniques.

6.) Utilize Somatic Therapies

For those who experience intense, panicky sensations while driving, somatic modalities such as Brainspotting, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), or neurofeedback can be beneficial. Panic and fear, often stemming from traumatic experiences, are deeply entrenched in our brains. Somatic therapies focus on unearthing and processing these deep-seated feelings. If you've been in a distressing accident, therapies like Brainspotting or EMDR are particularly adept at revisiting those traumatic instances and liberating the associated dread. This isn't to undermine the efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT); in fact, it can be a potent adjunct to these body-mind techniques. This type of effective help requires seeing a mental health professional.

7.) Cultivate a Positive Ambience

Simple actions can make a world of difference. Carrying your favorite water bottle, playing a soothing playlist, or even having a calming scent in the car can enhance the driving environment. Another practical step is having a supportive co-passenger — someone you trust implicitly. A positive reinforcement, like driving to your cherished donut shop for a treat (I've done this as a therapeutic exercise), can create an association of joy with the act of driving.

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The journey of conquering driving anxiety is individual and multifaceted. By understanding its roots, employing varied therapeutic strategies, and setting up a conducive environment, one can significantly reduce the stress and apprehension associated with driving. Please seek out a mental health professional if this is something you are struggling with.