Book Review of Britney Spears' Memoir "The Woman in Me": A Therapist's Perspective

The early 2000s resonate with many of us through the beats of pop music. I can still feel the vibrations of Britney Spears, NSYNC, and the Backstreet Boys as they echoed through roller rinks on weekends as a young kid. Young girls would emulate Britney during recess. While I wasn't a huge fan back then (I was very much a tomboy), her music undeniably bookmarked the joyous moments of my childhood.

Fast forward to 2007, my 8th-grade year. The media was rife with tales of Britney's perceived descent into "madness." With tabloids critiquing her postpartum body or questioning her abilities as a mother, it was a disconcerting era for young girls witnessing the media's portrayal of women. The infamous episode of her shaving her head and confronting a paparazzo with an umbrella became a schoolyard sensation. Yet, amidst the judgments, I remember pondering, "Would I have acted any differently under such relentless harassment?" The narrative around Britney was eerily reminiscent of history's treatment of defiant women, marked by manipulation and control.

“Hysterical” is a word I do not like to use. The term "hysterical" has historical baggage over two centuries. Rooted in the Greek word 'hystera' for uterus, it was an insidious label for women whose trauma was misunderstood and chalked up to mere feminine conditions. Alarmingly, medical interventions sometimes involved removing female reproductive parts as a remedy for "hysteria." Even as recently as the later 1900s in the USA, challenging gender norms or defince against husbands could lead to institutionalization. (I recommend the play or movie of “Street Car Named Desire” that depicts this reality in the 1950s).

Street Car Name Desire, 1951. The main character Blanche is taken away to a mental institution for a (r word) accusation as evidence she’s gone insane.

Britney's memoir throws light on these very shadows that persist today. The profound injustice and double standards she faced are glaring, especially when contrasted to the liberties her famous male counterparts enjoyed without judgment such as drinking and sex with multiple people.

One way trauma manifests is when someone is not heard during hardship or a traumatic event. Britney, like many women before and after her, grappled with this deafening silence. Her frustrations were misinterpreted as signs of regression or instability, akin to the twisted logic of the Salem witch trials she compares to in her book. She spoke about the methods of control and tragically her children were weaponized against her by her team, ex, and father threatening and taking them away from her. Another means of control she describes, which is all too familiar to women, is the control of the body. She describes how her body was controlled before and during the conservatorship. Whether it was comments on the public made throughout her career or the way her father had the authority over the way she ate and her reproductive rights.

In my time so far as a therapist, I've encountered women reluctant to express themselves for fear of being "too much." My response to this is that suppression leads to a more forceful eruption. The real culprit isn't their femininity, but the oppressive societal constraints dictating womanhood.

Britney's memoir reveals her resilience, most notably through her silent protests. Her decision to shave her head was not merely a fashion statement, but a declaration of autonomy. She had used her hair to defy control more than once. Even under the conservatorship, her subtle refusals to touch her hair during performances as prescribed by her team were acts of defiance. She was forced to have long hair but found little ways to show some resistance. Hair, as many have shared with me, is a symbol of freedom and self-expression. Britney's empowering message, "Don't underestimate your power," encapsulates her journey of resistance, dignity, and reclamation despite the damage she describes that was left on her. The way she dances on her social media may draw critique, but to me, it's a celebration of her liberation and identity. It is half inner child play and half expressing womanhood in her sexuality.

For those who are millennials or any woman grappling with patriarchal trauma, "The Woman in Me" is a must-read. It urges us to reevaluate societal norms and challenges us to reform our mental health systems. Therapeutic care should elevate and not be used as an authoritative weapon of control. Despite the many times the medical and mental health system had failed her, she did share she had some powerful and helpful experiences in therapy that helped her. Recognizing the inherent power dynamics in therapy and ensuring that clients are acknowledged as experts in their lives is paramount.

To Britney, and all like her, I hope for a future of freedom and healing! I love that she has a voice and is using her story as a form of taking back her power.